Skitty and Vui's Ebonics Rescues
by AwesomeAstrid
Summary: I put my story Skitty and Vui's Red Rescues into an Ebonics translator, and here is the result. I think it's really funny, so give it a read. I recommend you read this if you've read Skitty and Vui's Red Rescues, but I'm sure it could still be funny if you haven't. Anyway, hope you give it a read, and if you like it, give me a review!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I got the idea for this story when I was at my brother's house and he showed me a YouTube video where they put the script of the first episode of Yu-gi-oh Abridged into an Ebonics translator and then re-did the episode with the new script. That gave me the idea to put something I'd written into an Ebonics translator. So I tried it with Skitty and Vui's Red Rescues. Here is the amazingly funny result.**

 **Please know that nothing here is intended to be racist in any way. Everything in this story is what the translator gave me, so I apologise for anything in this story that could be considered offensive.**

 **If you don't know what Ebonics means, this is the definition I found when I Googled it - American black English regarded as a language in its own right rather than as a dialect of standard English. Anyway, if you still don't know what it means, well, you'll probably figure it out when you start reading the story.**

 **One more thing, and that's that I haven't censored swear words. The main reason why is just because there's a lot of them. Hopefully you guys don't mind the swear words. Also, I don't know much about ratings, so if you think I put the wrong rating for this story, let me know please. I always answer PMs.**

 **Oh right, I nearly forgot to put a disclaimer. Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. Of course, you'd already know that if you read the original story because I say it in every chapter. But you know, just to be safe, I'm saying it in this story too. Also I don't own the cover image. I got it from Google Images.**

 **Well, with all that said, onto the story.**

Chapter 1:

Skitty was struttin all up in tha woodz one dizzle when tha pimpin' muthafucka tripped over suttin' brown n' furry, he looked at it.

"Hm... hello, biatch? Is you dead?" tha other Pokemon woke up.

"Err... hello, biatch? Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is yo slick ass?

"I be Skitty n' I be guessin yo' Eevee?"

"N-no I'm... strange I don't give a fuck whoz ass I am?"

"Um hello, look wack Eevee!"

"Quit callin me that?"

"But yo ass is, look!" Skitty flossed his ass a mirror

"Whoa what tha fuck the, biatch? I be a Pokemon, a Eevee?"

"Shiznit muthafucka yo ass is strange"

"Well listen can you help me, you seem like a sick girl?"

"I be a funky-ass boy..."

"But you pink"

"Yeah thatz how tha fuck I always look, I be a Skitty"

"Yeah whatever, now listen, I be a human aiiight?"

"Whatever... hey what tha fuck the?" just then a Butterfree ran ta them

"Excuse me, I've lost mah darlin Caterpie, please you must help"

"Sure thang lets go Skitty"

"Yo I never holla'd yes" Eevee dragged Skitty ta Tiny Woods

"Listen I couldn't give a fuckin shiznit if you a human or Eevee, just stop buggin me"

"Yo, look! A Caterpie!" Exclaimed Eevee

"So what?! It aint nuthin but a wack Caterpie!" Yelled Skitty.

"Duh! Us thugs was holla'd at ta find a Caterpie!"

"What make you be thinkin dis is tha one we supposed ta find?!"

"It aint nuthin but a Caterpie."

"Therez a hundred Caterpies here!"

"I don't be thinkin Butterfree can have dat nuff kids!"

"SHUT UP YOU -beep- STUPID -beep- DUMB -beep- BROWN -beep- TINY FOX IDIOT!"

-Eevee scampers away-

"Eevee biaaatch! Where is you g-"

"Yo look I found Caterpie!"

"How tha fuck did you, biatch..."

"Is it tha wack one, biatch? I found his ass bustin up like a biatch fo' his 'mummy' on tha third floor."

"Yay dawwwwg! Yo ass found mah baby!"

"Ah you shizzle you gots tha right one miss?" Eevee asked

"Don't worry Vui there be a fuckloadz mo' if her dope ass don't like dis Caterpie"

"My fuckin name aint Vui?

"Then what tha fuck is it?"

"Ummm... I don't give a fuck?"

"Well I be callin you Vui gots dat shiznit son!"

"Fine, so is dis yo' baby miss?"

"I be thinkin so" she nodded

"Dope now letz go!"

"Wait!" Butterfree holla'd

"What now?"

"I wanna hit you wit these" dat freaky freaky biatch handed Eevee n' Skitty some berries

"Thanks a shitload miss"

"Yeah props im starving" Skitty started smokin all of tha berries

"Yo you meant ta share" Eevee pouted

"Whatever!"

"So where we goin now Skitty?"

"I be goin home"

"What bout me son?"

"Eh, not mah problem"

"But we playas"

"Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck holla'd that?"

"I did, cause you a sick person"

"Okay letz go"

"So wherez yo' home?"

"Wherever I find a phat place ta nap"

"Oh, aiiight"

"Yo ass know what, I be horny lets git all up in Pokemon square"

"Sure thang dawg"

"Now we buddies?

"Yup, hey whatz dat building"

"Oh itz just a oldschool rescue crew base dat no one wants ta buy."

"Letz loot dat shiznit son!"

"Do I be lookin like I have scrilla growin on mah tail?!" Eevee then looked at Skittyz tail

"It aint nuthin but a gangbangin' figure of speech, wack Vui!"

"Hello!" One of tha Kekleon brothers exclaimed.

"Lo!" Da other Kekleon repeated.

"Yea muthafucka, I be Vui!"

"Um, phat fo' yo slick ass?" muttered tha trippin Kekleon.

"You!"

"Brother, I holla'd at you ta stop bustin that!" Dude shouted at his thugged-out buggin twin brother.

"That!"

"Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is yo slick ass?" axed Vui.

"We tha Kekleon brothers!"

"Brothers!"

"Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin our shop! Would you like ta loot something?"

"Thing!"

"Okay dawwwwg! I be bout ta have every last muthafuckin thang!"

"Uh, Vui, our phat asses aint gots any scrilla!" Shouted Skitty.

"I do!"

"Where'd you git 200 poke?!"

"Found it on tha ground up in Tiny Woods. I would've picked up dem ginormous applez but they could've been poisonous or something."

"Yo ass saw Big Apples muthafucka! They're NEVER poisonous, DIMWIT! Thanks ta you, we gonna go hungry!"

"Our thugged-out asses have 4 aiiight sized Applez up in stock todizzle, muthafuckas."

"Guys!"

"Gimme dat scrilla!" Yelled Skitty, snatchin tha scrilla from Vui.

"What was dat for, biatch? We could've dropped dat on chicken"

"Don't worry Vui I gots all dem berries dat should last till tomorrow, letz use dat scrilla n' git a thugged-out decent home ta chill in"

"Alright pal!" Skitty n' Eevee went ta tha Pelliper post crib where they paid they rent fo' dat base they saw earlier, then headed back ta it,

"Bangin dis place has every last muthafuckin thang I need" Skitty hollared.

"All it has be a funky-ass big-ass bed?"

"Exactly" Skitty jumped on tha bed "Woohoo!"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: If you thought the first chapter was good, take it from me, it gets even funnier. Some of the things they say are so funny, I wonder if people actually say those things (again, not meaning to offend anyone). Well from this story I learnt that 'scrilla' means 'money'. Anyway, I think the story just gets better as it goes along, so I hope you like it just as much as my brother and I do. Actually, it was his idea that I post this. Originally I just put the story into the Ebonics translator for fun to see what it would be like, but then when I showed him, he was like, "You should upload this to your fanfiction account!" And I thought it was a good idea.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.**

 **So now, on to the second chapter.**

Chapter 2

"Skitty. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Skitty dawwwwg! SKITTY! SKITTY, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!"

"Aaah! Run! Call Wooper Fire-Fightin Service biaaatch! Hey... wherez tha fire?"

"Nowhere, silly dawwwwg! I was tryin ta git yo' attention!"

"By yellin all up in mah grill n' scarin me wit a gangbangin' false alarm?"

"Yo ass wouldn't wake up!"

"And what tha fuck do dat tell yo slick ass?"

" - "

"I wanted ta chill! Do you need mah crazy ass ta scribble 'DO NOT DISTURB' across mah forehead?"

"Yes yes y'all."

"IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION YOU -beep- STUPID-beep- FLUFFY -beep- FURBALL!"

"- WHAAAH! YOU NO GOOD FRIEND! I THOUGHT YOU MY BUDDY!"

"Vui-"

"Whaaah!"

"Vui!"

"Whaaah!"

"VUI, I'M SORRY!"

"-Sniff- Yo ass are?"

"Yes muthafucka! Now will you shut- shush please, biatch? I be bout ta go check tha mail, aiiight?"

"YAY! Okay!"

Skitty goes n' gets a letta outta tha mailbox n' brangs it inside.

"Whatz it say?"

"Well apparently playas be thinkin dat just cuz we own a rescue base dat was a real rescue crew?"

"Well aren't we?"

"Fuck dat shit, was not son! See peep dis note. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some Magnemite is stuck together n' now itz mah problem!"

"But we is a rescue crew?"

"No was not Vui!"

"Then why did we loot a rescue base?"

"Um, duh! Cause it has a funky-ass bed!"

"Whatz so phat bout tha bed?"

"Thatz it then Vui, you can chill up in tha letterbox!"

"I can't!"

"Why not"

"Cause tha Magnemite need help"

"For tha last time Vui was not a rescue crew"

"But..."

"But what?"

"But tha skanky Magnemite"

"Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck cares bout two wack Magnemite?!"

"I do." Said a mysterious voice.

"Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck holla'd that?" Axed Vui.

"Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck holla'd what?" Wondered a cold-ass lil trippin Skitty.

"Yo ass didn't hear it?"

"No!"

"Yo ass is disappointin me, Lilly. I need ta peep you up in person." Da mysterious voice holla'd at Vui.

"Don't call me dat son! Leave me alone!"

"Uh...Vui?"

"I be thinkin I be bout ta go look round Pokemon Square."

"Yo ass can't escape me, Lilly."

"SHUT UP!"

Skitty grabbed Vui by her tail n' dragged her ta Pokemon square.

"Okay Vui, herez tha deal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Yo ass stop pretendin you a schizophrenic n' I be bout ta save tha Magnemite."

"I wasn't imaginin it, some voice kept callin me Lilly."

"Whatever playa! Letz go save dem Magnemite so I can go back ta chill!"

They followed tha lettas which lead dem ta Thunderwave cave

"Wuz crackalackin' you must be tha rescue crew whoz ass came ta help Magnemite, they up in dis cave"

"I be guessin yo' too lazy ta go n' git them"

"Uh... just help us"

"Fine, letz go up in there Vui"

"Skittyyyyy!" Whined Vui.

"WHAT?!" Exclaimed Skitty."

"I be huuuuungry!"

"Not mah problem!"

"I want pizzy!"

"Pokemon don't smoke pizzy!"

"Not even cheese pizzy?"

"NO!"

"Then whatz that?"

"Whatz what?"

"That white thang on tha ground."

"Thatz a gummy you wack -beep-!"

"Yay dawwwwg! Gummy!" Vui ate tha White Gummy.

"Yum!"

"Of course you like it IT'S A -beep- WHITE GUMMY! ALL NORMAL-TYPE POKEMON LOVE WHITE GUMMIES!"

"Cool! I aint horny no mo'!"

"Duh! A gummy fills tha entire belly!"

"Yo, Skitty!"

"What?"

"Is dat a Gay Gummy?"

"No thatz two Magnemite."

"Oh, I was hopin dat shiznit was chicken n' you know I be eatin up dat shizzle all muthafuckin day, biatch."

"Um, Vui?"

"What, you found chicken?"

"Those is tha Magnemite our crazy asses here for!"

"Yay!" they strutted outside wit tha Magnemite, n' was reunited wit tha others.

"Thanks fo' savin our playas, here is 100 poke, n' a ounce ta tha bounce of Oran berries" tha Magnemites rewarded them

"Good, letz bounce back ta tha doggy den!"

"Zzzzz"

"Vui."

"Zzzzzzzzzz"

"Vui!"

"Zzzzz!"

"VUI, STOP THAT NOISY SNORING!"

Silence.

"VUI I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!"

Loooooooooong silence.

"ZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZ!"

"VUI!"

"Zzz-"

"Fine biaaatch! Peace out!" Skitty scampered out.

 **A/N: Once again remember I don't mean to offend anyone. I did change anything about the, I simply copy-pasted the story, exactly as it is shown on its fanfiction website, into the Ebonics translator. I have no idea why Vui said "Is dat a Gay Gummy?" I also have no idea how a gummy can be gay, but I guess that's a question for another day. I'm absolutely sure that the original story said "grey gummy", so I don't get why the translator changed it to that.**

 **See you next chapter guys!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.**

Chapter 3:

"Lilly."

"Don't call me that!

"Lilly, itz mah dirty ass."

"Me, who?"

"Me."

"Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is yo slick ass?!"

"Lilly, you know up in yo' ass whoz ass I am. Yo ass know itz mah dirty ass."

"Shut up!"

"Lilly, you need ta wake up."

"I be asleep?"

"Lilly, you upsettin yo' playa."

"What playa?"

"Lilly, you must not forget tha juice of thang."

"Go away!"

"Yo ass don't wanna lose another playa, Lilly."

"Another?"

"Goodbye."

"Wait son! Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is you, nahmean biiiatch?"

"What a weird dream... hey why is I chillin inside tha letta box?"

"I stuffed you up in they cause you wouldn't stop snoring!"

"I don't snore"

"Um, yeaaaa you did"

"Yo, I wonder what tha fuck our next mission is."

"Us dudes aint gots missions."

'Why not."

"Cause our asses aint a rescue crew!" Skitty shouted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Just then tha ground started rapidly bobbin.

"Ahhhhh! Earthquake biaaatch! Call tha ambulance!"

"Vui our phat asses don't need a ambulance."

"And there aint a earthquake." Vui n' Skitty looked confused.

"Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck holla'd that?"

"Me!" just then a Dugtrio popped up from tha ground

"Yo git outta mah house!"

"I thought dis was a rescue base" tha Dugtrio holla'd at dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

"It was yo, but was not a rescue crew" Skitty responded.

"Yes yes y'all, we are" Vui pouted.

"Look is you n' yo' hoe goin ta help me or not."

"Dat punk not mah hoe" Vui shouted.

"Help yo slick ass, biatch? Why would our crazy asses help yo slick ass?"

"Cause mah lil hustla was jacked by a buggin supa Skarmory."

"And why should I care?"

"Cause you a rescue crew."

"Fuck dat shit, was not."

"Yes, we are."

"Vui, shut tha fuck up."

"Why should I?"

"Cause I holla'd so."

"Please just help me you two!"

"Look! A Zigzagoon!"

"So what?! Yo ass shouldn't have dragged mah crazy ass here biaaatch! I be leaving!"

"But wait son! Look!"

Vui scratched tha Zigzagoon n' it ran away.

"I battle it n' it either takes a thugged-out dirt nap or runs away!"

"Yo ass just figured dat up now?"

"Whatever playa! We need ta find Diglett."

"No. Us dudes don't."

"But Skarmoryz gonna smoke him!"

"Pokemon don't smoke other Pokemon, n' if they did I wouldn't care if Groudon ate you, nahmean biiiatch?"

"Yo ass is mean!"

"Whatever."

"Why don't Pokemon smoke each other, biatch? Humans smoke muthafuckas."

"What is muthafuckas?'

"Creatures like Pokemon yo, but different."

"YOU'RE MAKING THAT UP!"

"Fuck dat shit, I be not!"

"Whatever."

"Quit sayin that, you bein mean! AND ANIMALS ARE REAL!"

"Looks no one cares bout muthafuckas or Zigzagoons or humans" Skitty yelled.

"But.."

"But what?"

"But I be a human."

"So, biatch? I be a Skitty but you don't peep me spittin some lyrics ta everyone?"

"Yo look over there!"

"What?"

"Stairs!"

"Okay."

"Yo look over there!"

"What, biatch? Mo' stairs?"

"Nope, a Diglett!"

"Oh goodie a Diglett."

"We gotta save him!"

"How, biatch? Therez a cold-ass lil cliff, unless you know one of mah thugs whoz ass can fly?"

"I can fly."

"No you can't Vui"

"I didn't say anything?"

"I did" just then a Skarmory flew down ta them

"Yo Skarmory, I brought you a sick dirty Eevee."

"I thought you holla'd Pokemon don't smoke other Pokemon."

"Whatever just go n' save Diglett."

"Quit right there biaaatch! No one is savin Diglett, his crew has been makin a fuckin shitload of earthquakes n' it made me realise, hey dem Digletts look dirty."

"No Muthafucka can smoke Diglett!"

"Vui you don't stand a cold-ass lil chizzle against his ass he a gangbangin' flyin n' steel type!"

"Dope point how tha fuck is we goin ta beat him?" just then Skarmory was struck by lightning.

"Where did dat come from?"

"Bzzt we came ta help."

"Oh pimped out itz tha Magnemites."

"Skitty, they just saved us!"

"Whatever."

"Stay there, we will save Diglett, bzzt." tha two Magnemite carried tha Diglett

"Yay, we saved Diglett" Magnemite hollared.

"Yay, I defeated tha Skarmory" Vui hollared.

"Yay, I didn't gotta do anything!" Skitty hollared.

"Nuff props fo' savin Diglett."

"Yeah. That was freaky. Thanks!"

"Don't give props ta me, I didn't do anything!" Shouted Skitty.

"Okay, then, give props ta me!"

"Yo ass didn't do anythang either, Vui."

"I made tha Zigzagoon go away."

"Wow."

"Thanks ta you ta too, Magnemites muthafucka! Yo ass gots me over tha cliff!" exclaimed Diglett.

"Kool as fuck ta help!"

"Yeah you did phat like a muthafucka fo' realz. Almost betta than me!"

"Almost son! Vui! All you did was scratch a Zigzagoon! They carried Diglett across tha cliff!"

"Anyway, I've decided I wanna join yo' rescue crew." Said one of tha Magnemites.

"WE'RE NOT A RESCUE TEAM!" Shouted Skitty.

"Yo ass rescue Pokemon."

"Fuck dat shit, Pokemon ask fo' help n' Vui drags me along ta help!"

"Whatever n' shit. Next time Vui drags you along ta help one of mah thugs, I'd like ta help like a muthafucka."

"Fine yo, but you don't live close ta our asses yo. How tha fuck will we go git yo slick ass?"

"We can loot one of Wigglituffz playa areas."

"Sure, whatever."

"Would you like ta break me off a nickname so you know whoz who?"

"No."

"Yes!" exclaimed Vui.

"Ok then. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. What would you like ta booty-call me son?"

"I wanna call you Vegemite, cos Magnemite endz up in 'mite'!"

"Vui!"

"It aint nuthin but fine, I wanna bust a nut on dat shit."

"Yay dawwwwg! Dude likes dat shiznit son!"

"So, can we hook up you at Pokemon Square tomorrow?"

"What for?" axed Skitty.

"To git mah home."

"Whatever."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.**

Chapter 4:

"Yo Magnemite biaaatch! Yo Vegemite!"

"Vui! I holla'd at you not ta booty-call his ass that!"

"It aint nuthin but ok. I wanna bust a nut on dat shit."

"See, he likes dat shit."

"Ok, where is you living, Magnemite?"

"Vegemite."

"Whatever."

"Well We found dis place near you I wanna bust a nut on called Da Juice Plant."

"Fine, git it, whatever."

"Dope chizzle fo' realz. As itz yo' first playa area, I be bout ta give it ta you fo' free!" Wigglituff holla'd at dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

"Yay!"

"Whatever."

"Great."

"But Vegemite, what'll happen ta tha other Magnemite?"

"I be bout ta go back ta Thunderwave Cave n' tell tha crew you've joined a rescue crew, n' ta booty-call you Vegemite."

"WE'RE NOT A RESCUE TEAM! AND DON'T CALL HIM VEGEMITE!"

"Ok, then. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Peace out, Magnemite."

"Bye Vegemite."

Magnemite floated away.

"I guess I be bout ta git all up in tha playa area, then." Suggested Vegemite.

"Whatever."

"Bye Vegemite!"

Vegemite floated away.

"So now what, Skitty?"

"Well, I guess dis make our asses a rescue crew."

"Yay!"

"Shut up."

"What'll we call our crew, Skitty?"

"How tha fuck bout Crew Shuttup!

"Thatz silly dawwwwg! Letz call it Crew Awesome!"

"If you say so."

"Yo ass is funky."

"Whatever letz put our scrilla up in tha bank like a sensible rescue crew."

They done did.

"Now what?"

"Letz put our shit up in tha storage like sensible rescue crew."

They done did.

"Now what?"

"Now git all up in bed!"

 **A/N: Man, if only I could show you how much Microsoft word is going crazy with the underlines. It thinks Ebonics is bad grammar. See you next chapter for more funny Ebonics with Skitty and Vui!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.**

Chapter 5:

Da next mornin they both raised up ta bangin crying.

"What tha hell is dat noise?" Skitty asked, annoyed.

"Yo there be a a Caterpie outside" Vui holla'd, pointin up tha obvious.

"Shut up." they strutted outside.

"Go away, Caterpie!" Skitty holla'd.

"Don't be mean."

"But da thug woke me up."

"Whatz wrong, lil muthafucka?'

"My fuckin playa Metapod is lost."

"Okay, have funk lookin fo' his muthafuckin ass."

"Skitty, his schmoooove ass can't look on his own."

"We can help you lil muthafucka" just then a Gengar, a Medicham n' a Ekans strutted ta dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

"Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is yo slick ass?" Skitty asked.

"We is Crew Meanies." Gengar holla'd.

"Ok." Skitty holla'd, not straight-up caring.

"Yo there, will you join our crew?" Vui axed stupidly.

"Vui they already gotz a crew."

"Exactly dawwwwg! But we want dat Caterpie on our crew." Da Gengar holla'd at dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

"Not now! I was askin dem ta find mah lost playa, Metapod!"

"We bout ta find yo' playa instead."

"Fuck dat shit, I want them! They're tha ones dat rescued mah crazy ass when I fell tha fuck up in a hole n' gots lost!"

"Yo ass is tha same ol' dirty Caterpie?"

"Vui, you straight-up need ta stop rappin'." Skitty holla'd at his muthafuckin ass.

"Ok, then! How tha fuck on some race, biatch? Both crews will go find Metapod, n' if we win, Caterpie has ta join our crew." Suggested Gengar.

"See ya, loosssssersssss." Added Ekans, as Crew Meanies ran off.

"Please help me, Crew Bangin biaaatch! I don't wanna join a crew called Crew Meanies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! They straight-up do sound mean n' I don't wanna join them! Please help!"

"Of course we'll help! Thatz what tha fuck rescue crews do! Right Skitty?"

"Whatever n' shit. Letz go, then."

"Yay!" exclaimed Vui n' Caterpie together.

"Yo ass straight-up is immature, Vui."

"And?"

Skitty sighed.

"Well, I be bout ta go git some shit from storage. Caterpie, you go git a map from yo' momma so you can show our asses where you lost Metapod."

"What bout me son?"

"Um, Vui, you can wait here."

"Can I git Vegemite?"

"Only if you DON'T call his ass that!"

"Aw."

"I be back!"

"Me too! I gots Vegemite!'

"Kool as fuck ta be of assistance."

"I holla'd at you not ta booty-call his ass dat if you gots him!"

"Too late now, nahmeean?"

"No itz not."

"Yo muthafuckas, I gots tha map!" exclaimed Caterpie.

"Ok then, wherez Metapod?"

"I lost his ass near these Sinista Woods."

"Ok! Letz go!" Exclaimed Vui.

"Shut tha fuck up. Letz git dis over with."

"Wherez Metapod?"

"Further ahead, Vui!"

"How tha fuck much further?"

"A bit mo' further."

"Ok!" exclaimed Vui, hustlin all dem steps.

"Skitty?"

"What?!"

"Wherez Metapod?"

"FURTHER AHEAD!"

"But I just strutted further ahead."

"It aint nuthin but further than that!"

Vui ran all dem mo' steps.

"Skitty, wherez Metapod?"

"VUI, IT'S MUCH FURTHER THAN THAT SO STOP F***ING ASKING AND YOU'LL F***ING SEE METAPOD!"

"Is dis probably how tha fuck these missions go?" Vegemite whispered ta Skitty.

"I be afraid so."

"Skitty dawwwwg! Heeeeelp!"

"Vui! What'd you do now?"

"That Wooper sprayed wata at me!"

"It aint nuthin but just wata gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Attack dat shit."

"No. Well shiiiit, it hurt mah dirty ass. It aint nuthin but tougher dat mah dirty ass."

Skitty sighed.

"I can help!" Exclaimed Vegemite, zappin Wooper n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Skitty Double Slapped Wooper n' it disappeared.

"How'd it disappear?" Axed Vui.

"Um... it died."

"How tha fuck do dyin make it disappear?"

"Why would it not disappear?"

...

"Thatz how tha fuck Pokemon die, Vui."

"Wow."

"Wherez Metapod?"

"We should find it soon."

"Oh! Therez crew Meanies!" Exclaimed Vegemite.

"What do you want?" Axed Skitty.

"Our thugged-out asses here ta rescue Metapod!"

"Not if we stop you" Eevee yelled

"Hah its 3 against 3 you gonna never win, our crazy asses have a advantage!"

"But how tha fuck is..."

"Vui don't even ask.."

"Bzzz, let me bust a cap up in them" Vegemite used thundershock n' Ekans disappeared.

"Me too!" Vui tackled Medicham

"And mah crazy ass too" Skitty used Headbutt, they all disappeared

"Ok you win" Gengar holla'd

"Yo I thought they disappeared" Vui holla'd

"Well, Vui, a funky-ass battle like this, where a crew verses a straight-up big-ass monsta or another crew, is whatz called a funky-ass boss battle fo' realz. Afta a funky-ass boss battle, tha weak-ass muthafuckas re-appear n' drop a rhyme ta tha ballas, probably ta diss bout losing."

"Cool."

"Shut up. We bout ta git you next time!" Exclaimed Gengar.

"See, just like that" Skitty pointed up as they ran off

"Now letz go find Metapod!" Vui hollared

"Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck holla'd mah name?" a chronic Metapod jumped up ta them

"Uh whoz dis muthafucka?"

"Vui itz tha Metapod we need ta rescue" Skitty

"Me git rescued, biatch? Oh shiiiiiiiit, no, no, I came here ta git away from dat buggin Caterpie"

"Too shitty you goin home so we can git reward"

"But Skitty Caterpie aint gots any scrilla"

"Then why did we come..."

"To be phat playaz n' help out"

"Thatz not how tha fuck it works, letz go"

They arrived home.

"So did you find Metapod?"

"Yes yes y'all yo, but da thug was dead we buried him,"

"My fuckin playa... he gone..."

"I be afraid so lil muthafucka" Skitty answered ta tha bustin up like a biatch Caterpie.

"quit freakin' tha fuck up we will find you a freshly smoked up playa, I heard there is Jumpluff up in town, letz go hook up them" Vui lead Skitty n' Caterpie tha fuck into hood where they saw Jumpluff but da thug was poppin' off ta a funky-ass big-ass pokemon known as Shiftry

"Forget it, was not bout ta work fo' that!"

"But please mah playa needz a gust of wind; please git yo' crew ta help"

"No! Yo ass is too skanky ta be mah client son! My fuckin crew is one of tha top crews round these parts n' we only accept thangs from tha wealthiest clients." Barked Shiftry.

"top crew mah *ss we way betta then you, nahmean biiiatch?"

"Charizard I holla'd at you ta use betta manners" Alakazam holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Now Shiftry be phat n' help tha lil Jumpluff.

"Oh fine!" Shiftry strutted off.

Alakazam fuckin started ta strutt off wit his cold-ass crew yo, but afta takin three steps, tha pimpin' muthafucka turned round n' looked at Vui.

"Is da perved-out muthafucka starin all up in mah grill son?" Vui whispered ta Skitty, which Skitty ignored.

"I sense suttin' strange bout dat Eevee." Said Alakazam.

"What tha fuck iz it boss?" Axed Charizard.

"Nothing. Never mind."

Alakazamz crew strutted off.

"Well dat was odd wasn't it, Skitty?"

"Huh what, biatch? I wasn't payin attention what tha fuck happened?"

"Oh never mind!"

"So what tha fuck now, can I chill like a pimp?"

"Ok! But remember ta raise up bright n' early!"

"What for?"

"To check tha mailbox."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.**

Chapter 6:

"Skitty dawwwwg! Wake up!"

"Go away."

"No."

"Oh, come on!"

"No!"

"I be bout ta pat you, biatch."

"I be a pokemon not yo' pet!"

"Soft Skitty, warm Skitty, lil bizzle of fur."

"Shut. Up! Vui!"

"Kool as fuck Skitty, chilly Skitty, um, uh... nya, nya, nya!"

"Vui, what tha fuck tha hell!

"What else was I supposed ta say?"

"Nothing!"

"Well, Skittizzles don't purr, do they?"

"Shut up!"

"Just check tha mail!"

"Why can't you do it?" Skitty yelled

"Us dudes do it together!"

"Why is dat stinkin' mail so blingin ta yo slick ass?!"

"It could be a thang request now dat we a rescue crew."

"We not a real rescue crew!"

"Yeah! Our thugged-out asses have other crew members!"

"So what?! We not!"

"Yuh huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Please!"

"Fine..." they strutted outside only ta peep a Jumpluff on they mail box "Excuse me, can you move so dis wack-ass Vui can git her mail?"

"Wait Skitty thatz tha Jumpluff from yesterday,"

"And why should I care?" Skitty sighed yo, but Vui ignored it

"What is you bustin here; shouldn't yo' playa done been saved by now?"

"Well no, see, Shiftry never came"

"Oh shiiiiiiiit, now we won't hear his ghettofab crusty voice" Skitty holla'd wit sarcasm

"But without Shifty we can't save mah playa,"

"What if our crazy asses help yo slick ass?" Vui offered.

"Thatz what tha fuck I was gonna ask you, biatch."

"Yay dawwwwg! A freshly smoked up mission!"

"So we gotta go find yo' playa n' Shiftry?" Axed Skitty.

"Yup." Exclaimed Jumpluff.

"And we gotta brang you wit us?" Axed Vui.

"Yup."

"Vui, thatz whatz called a 'escort me' mission."

"Cool!"

"Shut tha fuck up. We bout ta git ready, you wait somewhere." Skitty holla'd at Jumpluff.

"Where?"

"In a gangbangin' playa area!" Exclaimed Vui.

"But I aint up in yo' crew."

"Yo ass is now! I be givin you a nickname, too! I be callin you Jumpy!"

"Vui!"

"It aint nuthin but all gravy. Yo ass muthafuckas go git ready." Said Jumpy.

Lata they all arrived all up in tha silent chasm

"Yay our crazy asses here!" Vui hollared

"Wait I need ta rap suttin' bout dis dungeon" Jumpluff holla'd.

"What now?" Axed Skitty.

"Therez a legend round here dat there be a some sort of monsta up in there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Not nuff playas go up in there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Da ones dat come up is considered straight-up brave fo' realz. A few of tha playas whoz ass came up dat had one of mah thugs wit dem dat didn't come up all holla'd they saw a funky-ass bright flash before they companion disappeared, never ta be peeped again." Jumpy explained.

"This is too freaky I be leaving,"

"Vui itz just a story,"

"Dat punk right Vui, lets still go," Jumpy holla'd.

"B-but It aint nuthin but freaky."

"Vui, we a rescue crew now!" Exclaimed Skitty.

"Exactly fo' realz. A rescue crew member must do they duty ta help n' pokemon up in need, no matta what." Added Jumpy.

"O-okay. I be bout ta do dat shiznit son! For dat skanky lil trapped Jumpluff n' Shiftry!" Exclaimed Vui.

"Yes yes y'all, we will" Skitty strutted up in wit tha others

"Yo Skitty did you just say was a rescue crew?"

"Of course not thatz just dumb?"

"Eh did you hear it jumpy?" Vui asked.

"Yup!"

"See!"

"See what?"

"That Teddiursa lickin its paws is cute,"

"Um Vui thatz a lil' bit off topic...

Skitty beat down tha Teddyursa, causin it ta disappear yo, but then it re-appeared.

"Yo, it re-appeared!"

"I was horny bout how tha fuck tough you was biaaatch! Can I join yo' rescue crew?" Axed tha Teddyursa.

"Okay dawwwwg! I wanna call you Teddy!" Exclaimed Vui.

"Oh pimped out not another one..." Skitty rolled his wild lil' fuckin eyes annoyed

They on strutting, Eevee happily rappin, Skitty pissed off, Jumpluff ignorin it, n' Teddiursa struttin slow cause it kept lickin its paws,

"Yo look I peep Shiftry!" Jumpluff hollared

"Dope letz git his ass n' bounce back ta tha doggy den."

"Yeah before dat monsta smokes us!"

"Vui there be a no monster!"

"No but there is me!" Came a funky-ass bangin voice from tha clouds.

"What was that?"

A winged creature flew down n' sat up in tha air above tha ground

"I be Zapdos fo' realz. A lil creature similar ta dat one" Dude pointed at Jumpy. "came tha fuck into mah home, actin lost n' buggin me fo' help. I figured it might be phat ta smoke yo, but then dis bigger one came along n' I be thinkin I be bout ta take his ass instead!"

Zapdos took one of his handz outta his wild lil' feathers ta reveal dat dat schmoooove muthafucka had Jumpluff yo. Dude dropped Jumpluff, grabbed Shiftry n' flew away.

"Damn it, now shifty is gone.." Vui sobbed

"Vui be thankful it didn't smoke you, nahmean biiiatch?"

"It aint nuthin but all mah fault..." Jumpluff sighed.

"It aint nuthin but all gravy. Well shiiiit, it wasn't you fault tha place you gots lost up in happened ta be a thugged-out dungeon wit a monsta up in dat shit." Jumpy pointed out.

"Yeah fo' realz. And you ok, thatz tha main thang." Added Vui.

"Can we bounce back ta tha doggy den now?" Skitty wined

"Yeah no point staying" Jumpluff holla'd

They all went back ta tha base

"I can't believe Zapdos stole Shiftry" Vui complained.

"Zapdos?" suddenly Alakazam n' his cold-ass crew flossed up "Zapdos be a straight-up fucked up pokemon you should leave it ta us" Alakazam holla'd.

"But we a rescue crew! And itz our duty ta help all pokemon up in need!" Exclaimed Vui.

"Let it go, Vui. They're tougher n' shit. They need ta handle dat shit." Said Skitty.

"But how tha fuck do one of mah thugs git stronger if no one lets dem try?!"

"Look, Alakazam holla'd ta let his ass do it, so let his muthafuckin ass."

"Yo ass is mean."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.**

Chapter 7:

"Skitty!"

"What?!"

"Letz go help Shiftry!"

"Alakazam holla'd not to!"

"But Jumpy axed our asses ta save Jumpluff AND Shiftry!"

"So?"

"Skitty, he'll EAT him!"

"We too late then."

"But Zapdos holla'd he'll take his ass ta his home before he smokes his muthafuckin ass."

-Flashback-

"-I shall take dis one instead hommie! I shall take his ass ta mah home up in Mt. Thunder before I smoke his muthafuckin ass. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!"

Zapdos flies away wit Shiftry.

-Flashback end-

"Dude didn't say that, Vui.

"Whatever n' shit. Letz go rescue Shiftry at Mt. Thunder."

"Whatever."

And wit dat Vui n' Skitty went off ta Mt thunder

"Yo ass do realise was goin ta take a thugged-out dirtnap here, n' I mean real die, not fake take a thugged-out dirt nap."

"Whatz tha difference?"

"Oh you gonna see" Skitty holla'd as they strutt tha fuck into tha big-ass mountain

"Shiznit muthafucka they shizzle is a shitload of Electrike, they so cu... ahhhhhh!" tha Electrike shocked Vui

"Vui you can't keep pointin up all tha thugged-out thangs, they is yo' enemies!"

"Whatever... oh a thugged-out Electabuzz... owwwiee!"

"Don't bust a nut on them! They zap you, nahmean biiiatch?"

"But I wanna pinch they cheeks!"

"Well you can't."

"But I wanna!"

"Fine. Die. I couldn't give a fuckin shit. I guess we won't save Shiftry. Us thugs won't do our duty as a rescue crew n' we won't BE a rescue crew no mo'. Us thugs won't have any way ta git scrilla or chicken n' you know I be eatin up dat shizzle all muthafuckin day, biatch. I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! We bout ta REALLY take a thugged-out dirtnap of starvation n' thatz tha end of us."

"NOOOOO! I don't wanna die!"

"Okay, aiiight, just don't bust a nut on tha enemies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Jeeez."

"Yaay I promise" Vui hugged Skitty

"Uhh let me go"

"Fine..."

"Now letz go" they strutted up some stairs

"Aww dat Kangashan is so cute!"

"Vui itz just a statue"

"Oh well whatz it bustin here?" Eevee asked.

"How tha fuck should I know?"

"Therez some writing."

"Thanks, Sherlock."

"What do it say?"

"Apparently dis statue lets our asses access tha Kangaskhan storage up in Pokemon Square.

"Cool!"

"Okay… Can I take a Oran berry outta storage?"

An Oran Berry rocked up on tha ground.

"Ooh! Cool!" Exclaimed Vui, pickin it up n' smokin it all.

"Vui you idiot dat was our only Oran berry, we needed that!"

"But I was hungry!"

"So we needed it ta help be kickin it!"

"It aint nuthin but just a funky-ass berry"

"Yes yes y'all yo, but it could have healed our asses up in a emergency!"

"But dat shiznit was yummy!"

"Vui..."

"At times like this, we can't git fucked up or mad salty n' cry away tha day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Us playas just move on n' keep goin n' soon phat thangs will come our way."

...

"What is you, a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shitty-ass greetin card, biatch? Letz go."

"Hello! I be a buggin lil Electrike n' I'ma annoy you while whoopin tha snot outta you, nahmean biiiatch, biatch? Literally!"

"Aaah!"

"Vui! Just battle dat shiznit son!"

"La, lala, lala lala!" I be a buggin Electrike!" Sang Electrike, zappin tha others."

"Shut up." Said Skitty, rockin Doubleslap.

Electrike disappeared n' re-appeared.

"Can I join yo' crew?"

"NO!"

"YES! I be bout ta call you Zappy!"

"Ugh.'

"Yahoo yay whoa yeah!" Zappy hollared

"Oh god I don't give a fuck bout his ass already!"

"Yo look I wonder if dat big-ass bird wants ta join our crew?"

"Umm Vui our laid-back asses just found Zapdos"

"No please don't smoke me!" Vui sobbed.

"Don't worry dawwwwg! I be bout ta bust a cap up in it by buggin tha crap outta dat shiznit son! Literally"

"Shut up. I don't give a fuck bout you, biatch. Vui, I don't give a fuck bout you like a muthafucka."

"Why?"

"Yo ass holla'd phat thang would come our way. These aint phat thangs!"

"But I made fwends!" Exclaimed Zappy.

"Yeah. I meant phat thangs fo' one of mah thugs!"

Zapdos suddenly shocked Skitty yo, but it didn't hit him, instead it hit Zappy which didn't do much.

"Yo why didn't I git hit?"

"Oh thatz mah mobilitizzle lightnin rod, it draws electric attacks ta me"

"Damn you buggin thang!" Zapdos yelled.

"Yay dawwwwg! I did good!"

"Ugh. Okay. Yo ass is OUTRAGOUSLY ANNOYING YOU STUPID LITTLE ELECTRIKE!"

...

"BUT! Yo ass may not be all kindsa useless afta all."

"Grr, fine. Yo ass can have yo' wack Shiftry as long as dat thang don't come back"

"Deal!" Vui smiled.

"I be pretty shizzle I'ma don't give a fuck bout mah dirty ass fo' dis but fine, give our asses Shiftry" suddenly Shiftry fell tha fuck from tha sky.

"Yo, Zapdos muthafucka! Catch him! Dude bout ta git hurt!" Yelled Vui.

"No."

"I be bout ta be buggin again!" Exclaimed Zappy.

"Fuck dat shit, not that!" Roared Zapdos, flyin over n' catchin Shiftry n' puttin his ass down.

"Just don't bother me again."

So Zapdos left, leavin dem there, n' Alakasamz crew arrived

"How tha fuck did tha fight go?"

"There wasn't any fight?" Vui questioned

"Well at least Shiftry is safe... but there is suttin' else, you there tha brown haired one... yo' aren't normal.."

"Tell me suttin' I don't give a fuck" Skitty laughed

"You... is a human!"

"Shiznit muthafucka dis muthafucka is cool, he must be psycho or something!"

"I aint even goin ta answer that..." Skitty sighed

"If you wish ta know more, then hook up tha one known as Xatu, he lives on tha hill of ancients above Great Canyon" Alakasam explained.

"Well at least there be a not a god damn thang left ta rescue, so letz bounce back ta tha doggy den ta bed"

"But I wanna learn more" Vui pouted.

"There aint a god damn thang mo' I can rap , biatch. Yo ass must find Xatu all up in tha Hill Of Ancients above Great Canyon." Alakazam holla'd at dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

"Okay. Letz bounce back ta tha doggy den then!" Decided Vui.

"Yay, home!" Exclaimed Zappy.

"Ugh, Ok."

They arrived home n' Vui n' Skitty went ta chill, while Zappy ran up in circlez cause tha idiot didn't give a fuck how tha fuck ta stop, da thug was too full of juice.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.**

Chapter 8:

Da next mornin Vui woke up.

"I've gotta smoke up shiznit from dat Xatu thang... I know I bet Skitty will wanna come, he loves me goin ta dungeons wit him,"

5 minutes lata Skitty woke ta a explosion

"What was that?"

"I used shadow bizzle ta wake you up, you like it?"

"Vui I swear ta god I'ma drown you up in tha ocean!"

"But then we won't be able ta rescue thangs?"

"Straight-Up I hit you wit a thugged-out dirtnap threat n' all you be thinkin bout is rescuin thangs... you so dam stupid!" Vui started ta cry hearin that.

"Oh pimped out she hustled fake tears as well"

"I thought you was mah fwend!"

"Vui-"

"Wah!"

"Vui-!"

"Wah!"

"Vui! I-"

"WAH!"

"VUI!"

"WAH!"

"VUI I'M SORRY!"

"*sniff* Fo' realz?"

"Yeah, whatever.

"Yay!"

"Yay!" Came a second voice no one had noticed yet.

"Yo ass shut tha fuck up Zappy!"

"Yay!"

"I holla'd SHUT UP!"

"La la la la!"

"Shu.. hmm, hey Zappy there be a straight-up dope place called Wild Plains, itz a gangbangin' playa area, you gonna ludd it" Skitty holla'd wit a gangbangin' fake aiiight voice.

"Really, biatch? Will there be playas ta annoy there?"

"Certainly, there be a a gangbangin' funk hoe called Jumpy livin there"

"Woohoo!, Bye muthafuckas!" Zappy ran off fast.

"Thank god time fo' chill"

"But I wanna peep Xatu…"

"No."

"Please,"

"Yo ass aint goin ta stop till I say yeaaaa right?"

"Shiznit muthafucka you smart-ass how tha fuck did you know?"

"'Cause all idiots do that."

"Oka- hey dawwwwg! Is you sayin I'M a idiot?"

"I was yo, but you noticed I was, so you not, so I take it back."

"Ewah?"

"Never mind."

"So now what?"

Skitty grill palmed.

"What?"

"Yo ass pesta me ta go peep Xatu n' when I almost say fo'sho, you forget every last muthafuckin thang dat was goin on!"

"Ewah?"

"Whatever n' shit. Letz go find dat damn Xatu."

They strutted tha fuck into Great Canyon.

"Okay, a freshly smoked up dungeon, now if mah calculations is erect there should be another pokemon right abou..." Skitty was interrupted/

"OH MY GOD AS SOON I GET IN THE DUNGEON I FIND A PHANPY OH!" Vui hollared

"Noooo go away!" Skitty used tackle n' capped tha Phanpy n' it came back

"Oh wow so phat n' thugged-out, please let me join yo slick ass?"

"Sure!" Vui hollared

"I meant tha Skitty is thugged-out yo, but at least I be in, yay, I git ta travel wit tha dunkadelic Skitty" tha Phanpy hugged Skitty

"Git off mah dirty ass..."

"Just leave his ass he not tha fuck into girls" Vui holla'd

"I be bout ta ignore that... letz go find yo' pimp tha Xatu" Skitty laughed.

"Letz go Phanpy, or should I say Darmani, yup thatz yo' freshly smoked up name!"

"Ugh."

"What?"

"Yo ass n' yo' wack nicknames is straight-up buggin me!"

"Well you straight-up cool, Skitty, n' I want you ta be horny. Whatz wrong?" Axed Darmani.

"*gasp* I know! Skittyz upset 'cause I give mah playas a nickname n' I aint given his ass one yet!" Exclaimed Vui.

"Yeah! Even you have one. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Skitty must feel left out!" Agreed Darmani.

"Fuck dat shit, I don't want a nickname, muthafuckas."

"I be bout ta hit you wit one!" Exclaimed Vui.

"I holla'd no! Fuck dat shit, muthafuckas. I couldn't give a fuckin shiznit bout wack-ass nicknames.

"I know! How tha fuck bout we call you Pinky!" Exclaimed Darmani.

"Sick try yo, but I be tha nickname maker here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. We can call his ass Pinky yo, but only until I be thinkin of suttin' else."

"Okay!"

"NO! Guys, don't call me Pinky. I be a funky-ass pimp dawwwwg! I don't like dat shit. I don't want ANY nickname. Letz just forget dat shit."

They reached tha top of tha Great Canyon.

"Yo Skitty do you be thinkin thatz Xatu over there?" Vui asked

"Yup thatz Xatu yo, but why is da perved-out muthafucka starin all up in tha sun?" Darmani pointed out.

"Dat punk gonna git eye cancer if her keep bustin that" Skitty laughed

"Maybe one of mah thugs should git his thugged-out attention?" Darmani asked

"Ooh, I know!" Exclaimed Vui.

Vui whispered suttin' ta Darmani.

"Well, aiiight."

Darmani used Earthquake.

"Watch dat shiznit son!" Yelled Skitty.

"Weee!" Exclaimed Zappy, hustlin up.

"Where'd you come from?"

"Home."

Skitty grill palmed (yes, thatz possible ta do on four legs).

"Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck holla'd you could come here, biatch? Yo ass is supposed ta be on stand by!"

"I have four hairy-ass legs so I can't stand up."

Skitty grill palmed again.

"So why'd you come?"

"By mah calculations since Phanpys is straight-up common here, I figured dat tha pokemon dat joins tha crew would be a Phanpy fo' realz. And I also figured dat Xatus is hard ta git tha attention of, so I knew you'd use earthquake. I wanted ta be here fo' dat shiznit son!" Explained Zappy.

"How tha fuck did he figure dat out?" Darmani asked

"Y'know thatz gotta be tha smartest thang dat schmoooove muthafucka has holla'd" Skitty pointed out

Just then Xatu turned around.

"What is you all bustin here?" da perved-out muthafucka holla'd, bein annoyed but still havin a cold-ass lil calm voice

"Please we wanna know something,"

"Yo ass wanna know why you a pokemon when you straight-up a human right?"

"How'd you know?" Axed Vui.

"Um, I just know."

"Did yo dirty ass figure it up tha same way dat Zappy did?"

"No."

"Then how?"

"I've been watchin over dis area fo' muthafuckin years from dis cliff."

"How tha fuck can you peep whatz goin' down from so high up?"

"I be psycho."

"Okay, then! Tell me what tha fuck I be thinking!"

"It don't work dat way."

"Look just answer Vui's question so we can leave!"

"Straight-up well, Vui was once a human, it has been holla'd over muthafuckin years dat a human will one dizzle strutt as a Pokemon n' when dat dizzle comes tha unthinkable shall happen ta dis ghetto, any mo' thangs?"

"Uh no we good" n' thus they all left yo, but what tha fuck they didn't peep was Gengar spyin on dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

"kekeke dis shall be interesting"


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.**

Chapter 9:

"Skitty?"

"Yeah?"

"How tha fuck can a adjectizzle be a noun?"

"What is you poppin' off about?"

"Xatu holla'd when a human turns tha fuck into a pokemon, tha unthinkable would happen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 'Unthinkable' be a adjective."

"Dude means suttin' dat is unthinkable would happen."

"So what tha fuck is tha unthinkable thang?"

"How tha fuck should I know?"

"B-but da perved-out muthafucka holla'd it'll happen when a human turns tha fuck into a pokemon! I-I was human."

"Yeah well letz just chill like a pimp"

"Skitty raise up now!"

...

"I wanna learn mo' bout mah dirty ass"

"We not goin ta Xatu again"

"No no no lets go peep dat oldschool muthafucka called Whiscash"

"Fine, just promise it will just be our asses two"

"Ok"

So they strutted tha fuck into hood n' some playas was chatting.

"Hmm, itz only a legend right?" Bellspout asked.

"Still..." Commented Lombre.

"Yo ass never know." Agreed Snubble.

"Oh, hey Vui. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Skitty. Whatcha doin'?" Axed Lombre.

"I wanna learn mo' bout mah dirty ass!" Exclaimed Vui.

"Yeah, 'cause Vui used ta be human yo, but she gots turned tha fuck into a Pokemon."

"Well I suggest poppin' off ta Whiscash ,about tha Ninetalez legend"

"Okay letz go Skitty"

They strutted ta Whiscash pond, n' talked ta Whiscash.

"Yo Whiscash do you know bout tha Ninetalez legend?" Vui asked.

"Of course mah lil' children, tha Ninetalez legend drops some lyrics ta of a Pokemon named Ninetales, n' it is holla'd dat whoever touched one of its tails would be cursed, well there was one human foolish enough ta grabs its tail, tha Ninetalez launched a cold-ass lil curse on tha human yo, but tha human had a funky-ass beloved partner pokemon named Gardeviour, Gardeviour shielded tha human yo, but up in turn she payed tha price yo, but Ninetalez holla'd, dat schmoooove muthafucka had a cold-ass lil chizzle ta save her yo, but tha human had already ran away, n' Ninetalez swore dat tha humans selfish acts shall be his fuckin lil' downfall, n' da thug would one dizzle be a Pokemon."

"Wow."

"So tha human gots turned tha fuck into a pokemon hey..."

"Uh, Skitty, why is you starin all up in mah grill son?"

"Yes, why, biatch? Is there suttin' peculiar goin on?" Axed Whiscash.

"Vui used ta be a human but one dizzle dat biiiiatch raised up near Tiny Woodz as a Eevee. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch didn't remember anythang except dat she used ta be a human, n' so when I found her there, thatz when we met, n' a buggin Butterfree came along n' axed our asses ta save her baby. Thatz how tha fuck we became a rescue crew."

"Oh, my. That is peculiar."

"We bout ta figure it up eventually dawwwwg! Right, Skitty?"

"Maybe. Letz just stick ta rescuin Pokemon until we smoke up more."

"Okay!"

So tha next day...

"Skitty, wake up!"

"Why?"

"Therez a shitload of noise outside."

Just then, a Caterpie snuck up in all up in tha window.

"Yo ass muthafuckas gotta run away dawwwwg! They're all sayin they gonna catch you, nahmean biiiatch?" Exclaimed Caterpie.

"W-what,... thatz ridiculous"

"Actually its highly logical, be thinkin bout it, Vui used ta be human, n' there was a human is tha legend, n' some playas consider Ninetalez thugged-out n' we all know Vui loves thugged-out thangs, knowin her, she probably grabbed its tail, peep Vui you never learn" Skitty explained

"Well we can't go outside 'cause they gonna bust a cap up in us"

"Yeah letz chill like a pimp"

"Yo thatz a phat plan" Vui hollared

"What plan?"

"We chill like a pimp fo' todizzle, n' then we git up straight-up early tomorrow n' git thangs from storage n' tha shop n' shiznit fo' realz. And then we run away before mah playas wakes up!"

"Where do we run?"

"Away."

Skitty grill palmed.

"Well where do you be thinkin we can go?"

"My fuckin mommy holla'd at mah crazy ass on some place called Lapis cave. No one eva goes there yo, but it don't seem dat freaky. Yo ass can hide there, no one'll be thinkin of lookin there!" Suggested Caterpie.

"Okay!"

"Wait, Vui! We bout ta gotta be straight-up secret bout it so we can't take any other crew members."

"What bout Zappy?"

"NO!"

"Yo muthafuckas!" Exclaimed Zappy, climbin all up in tha window.

"CLOSE THAT DAMN WINDOW!" Yelled Skitty.

"Lombre axed mah crazy ass ta tell Vui ta come up n' they won't hurt you, biatch. Then they gonna tie you up n' take you far away..."

"Shut up Zappy!"

"Zappy bounce back ta tha doggy den we goin ta bed.."

"Okay I be bout ta go back ta buggin Jumpluff" n' wit dat Zappy ran away

"Okay I be goin ta chill"


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.**

Chapter 10:

In tha mornin Skitty woke up,

"Vui don't do that, wait Vui is still asleep, thatz odd probably dat biiiiatch wakes me up"

Skitty started bobbin Vui.

"Vui! Yo ass need a alarm clock!"

"How tha fuck do you be thinkin I always raise up before yo slick ass?" Laughed Vui, wakin up.

"Then why didn't you use it todizzle?!"

"I didn't wanna raise up tha other pokemon up in tha neighbourhood hommie! They'd come n' git us!"

"They're not chillin outside our door!"

Skitty opened tha door.

"I stand erected." Said Skitty, closin tha door cuz they was there.

So they went up tha window behind they base

"So now what tha fuck do our phat asses do?" Vui asked

"I can help"

"Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck holla'd that?"

"I did" Diglett popped up tha ground "I be bout ta dig you a tunnel"

"Thatz a phat idea" Vui hollared

"Vui not so bangin they will hear us"

"Sorry" Vui sighed n' Diglett opened a funky-ass big-ass tunnel leadin just outside Pokemon Square

"Thanks fo' tha help Diglett"

"Y'know all tha idiots is bein pretty smart-ass todizzle" Skitty laughed

"So letz git goin then, Diglett head home or they will smoke you too"

"Vui they aren't goin ta smoke our asses yo, but they will bust a cap up in us"

"But I don't wanna die" Diglett cried.

"Then bounce back ta tha doggy den!" Skitty holla'd.

"Now where to?" Vui asked.

"I dunno I suppose we git all up in dis cave up in front of our asses called Lapis Cave"

"Ok dat soundz fun,"

"Vui dis aint a game itz a game or dirtnap thang,"

"I be just sayin it soundz fun."

"Whatever."

"Ooh, look! A pretty Illumise!"

"Well then bust a cap up in dat shiznit son!"

"Fuck dat shit, I want it on our crew! Will you join our crew, Illumise?"

Illumise used tackle on Vui.

"Ow!"

"Pokemon will battle you unless you have capped them, Vui."

"Now, you tell mah dirty ass."

Illumise beat down Skitty.

"Ow! Thatz dat shiznit son! Time ta die!"

Skitty went ta battle Illumise.

"Fuck dat shit, Skitty dawwwwg! Yo ass holla'd one of our asses has ta bust a cap up in a pokemon on our own ta recruit it fo' our crew!"

"Vui, we can't. We fugitives now, nahmeean, biatch? We can't recruit any mo' pokemon n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do."

"Fine. But I aint cappin' dat shit."

"Fine wit mah dirty ass."

Skitty beat down Illumise n' it took a dirt nap n' disappeared.

"Wah! Biatch was mah fwend!"

"Fuck dat shit, dat biiiiatch wasn't."

"B-but... m-my playa she... oh hey look tha exit!" Vui hollared n' they ran ta tha exit only ta peep a massive volcano up in tha distance.

"We can't go there, its way too big,"

"Dope scam Skitty" then they heard some voices.

"Quick, there they are, letz git them"

"Vui we gotta run now" they ran off ta tha volcano.

"Is they seriously goin up in there?" one voice holla'd.

Thatz wack I aint goin up in there," they all ran away n' Skitty n' Vui arrived at Mt Blaze.

"Vui remember when at Mt thunder I holla'd we would die, well dis time itz straight-up gonna happen, was never goin ta survive this."

"Oh quit bein a scaredy Delcatty."

"I aint scared, just realistic!"

"And when I be realistic, I tell tha real deal!

So chin up! And herez why dawwwwg! Be phat n' you won't die!

Now come on n' start rhyming! Listen! It aint nuthin but all up in tha timing! Now letz go! To tha vol-ca-no!

Listen ta mah po-em! And we can show-em!

How tha fuck we is tough! Yeah, n' itz rough!

But we can win! We bout ta win dis thang!

Now letz go show-em! Cos thatz tha end of mah wack-ass lil po-em!

Yaaaaay!"

"That was much longer than tha other one."

"So?"

"And what tha fuck do you mean, 'win', biatch? Is all of dis a game ta yo slick ass?"

"Um... sort of?"

"WHAT?"

"Um... letz head ta tha volcano. I hear dem gettin closer."

"Whatever."

"Skitty?"

"What."

"It aint nuthin but hot."

"No sh*t, Sherlock. It aint nuthin but a -beep- volcano."

"I be hot."

"What do you want me ta do bout it?"

"Letz bounce back ta tha doggy den?"

"No."

"Why?!"

"Listen, you could go either all up in a funky-ass bangin' dungeon dat may be bangin' but won't bust a cap up in you, or you can bounce back ta tha doggy den n' let tha villagers bust a cap up in you, biatch."

"But itz hot!"

"So toughen up."

"I don't wanna,"

"But you just holla'd dis won't be hard?"

"Well I lied,"

"Shut up letz git all up in this, besides at least there aint no damn legendary birds..." Skitty sighed

"Did some muthafucka say legendary birds?" just then a funky-ass big-ass fiery bird flew down "I be Moltres tha bird of fiery!"

"Quick push his ass up in tha volcano crata Skitty!"

"Vui he a gangbangin' fire type don't you be thinkin his schmoooove ass could handle it?"

"Well straight-up tha volcano is full of lava, which is different from fire. I can handle fire yo, but I be kind of weak ta lava-"

"PUSH HIM IN!" Yelled Vui, as he n' Skitty pushed a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shocked Moltres tha fuck into tha lava.

"I shouldn't have holla'd at you thaaaaat!" Exclaimed Moltres as da perved-out muthafucka splashed bout up in tha lava.

"Letz go, Skitty yo. Dude might git out."

"Relax. Dat punk stuck."

So they ran off. They strutted n' strutted n' strutted n' strutted.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.**

Chapter 11:

As they strutted further away from Mt. Blaze, it gots less n' less hot. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Soon, it gots cold. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well shiiiit, it gots colda n' colda n' colda n' colder.

"Skitty dawwwwg! Whyz it so cold?!"

"Do I control tha weather, biatch? How tha fuck should I know?"

"Yo whatz that?"

"Whatz what?"

"I thought I saw a pokemon"

"Vui you a idiot,"

"I aint lyin it had white fur n' a funky-ass black face"

"Thatz tha dumbest thang you've eva holla'd!"

"But…"

"But what?"

"Therez a gangbangin' forest ahead"

"What tha f**k do dat gotta do wit anythang you wack brown fur head!"

"That would be Frosty Forest, tha place we supposed ta bounce tha fuck out."

"Since when we you so smart?"

"Forests have trees."

"Never mind."

"It aint nuthin but cold."

"Shut up. Just go up in tha forest."

"Skitty."

"What?"

"I be cold."

"Shut up."

"Skitty?"

"What?"

"I be bored."

"Then... make one of yo' wack lil poems."

"Hmmm... Today, todizzle, we peep tha snow. I be buggin n' Skitty say 'no'!"

"Thank god dat was a quick one"

"I aint finished"

"Yes yes y'all, yo ass is"

"In tha dope snow, is where we gotta go, Alakasamz crew is gold, n' I be straight-up cold, Gengar had a evil ass, it made me wanna fart"

"Is you done?"

"Yes,"

"Oh give props ta god"

"Skitty?"

"What?"

"What rhymes wit 'Skitty'?"

"I don't give a fuck!"

"Hmmm Skitty, witty, Sh**ty, kitty...um I don't give a fuck?"

"Good."

"Ooh! Skitty, Skitty. Is so witty" Vui rhymed.

Skitty smiled.

"Now dis kitty... be actin sh**ty!" Vui finished.

"Hey!"

"It had ta rhyme!"

"Couldn't you find suttin' else ta rhyme wit kitty?"

"Nope."

Skitty grill palmed.

"Now what tha fuck rhymes wit Eevee?"

"I dunno."

"Yo Skitty whatz dat thang?"

"I dunno know?"

"Hoes call me Articuno, I be tha bird of ice, n' you two is up in big-ass shit!"

"What did our phat asses do?" Vui sighed

"Things done been straight-up warm round here recently, snow is meltin dat has never melted before, n' then you two show up, therefore itz yo' fault!"

"That don't prove anything!" Exclaimed Skitty.

"Articuno, huh.. fo' realz. Articuno, Articuno, bird of tha ice fo' realz. Articuno, Articuno, aint straight-up sick biaaatch! Dude flies up in tha sky yo. Dude shizzle loves ta fly. Then he gets stuck n' calls fo' his wild lil' fo' mum. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So Articuno straight-up is dumb!"

"Vui!"

"Grrrr!"

"Ooh, look a river!"

"Shut up!" Exclaimed Articuno,, pickin up Vui n' flyin towardz tha river n' shit. But Articuno lost his balizzle n' fell tha fuck up in tha river n' shit. Vui tickled his ass n' jumped onto land. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da tickle made Articuno sneeze, blowin up ice n' freezin tha river n' trappin Articuno up in tha river.

"Yay dawwwwg! I did dat shiznit son!"

"Letz go, Vui. This one can git out. Da ice could melt."

"Yeah, letz go."

They started ta strutt off.

"Hold up." Said a strange pokemon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dat shiznit was white wit a funky-ass black face.

"I holla'd at you I saw dat shiznit son!" Exclaimed Vui.

"I saw you trap Articuno. I'd like ta join you I be Absol." Dude explained.

"Okay dawwwwg! Come wit us muthafucka! I be bout ta nickname you Abbie!" Exclaimed Vui fo' realz. Abbie holla'd nothing.

"Whatever." Sighed Skitty.

So tha trio strutted off.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.**

Chapter 12:

As they strutted, it gots even colder.

"Brrr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I didn't be thinkin dat shiznit was possible yo, but itz even colda here!" Complained Vui.

"Yeah. Da narrator just holla'd that." Skitty pointed out.

"We is approachin Mt. Freeze." Abbie holla'd at dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

"I don't want it ta git colder!" Exclaimed Vui.

"I hear there be a a Ninetalez all up in tha top." Said Abbie.

"Da Ninetalez legend!" Gasped Skitty.

"Lilly..."

"What was dat Skitty?"

"I didn't say anything?"

"Eevee... I can't be peeped by others... itz me Gardeviour!"

"Gardeviour?, what tha fuck do you want?"

"Yo ass be almost there, ahead is Mt Freeze, wit Ninetalez above it, you must hurry home!" Gardeviour disappeared.

"Vui you actin weird, even fo' you"

They arrived at Mt Freeze.

"So you saw Gardeviour, n' it holla'd at you bout Ninetales?"

"Yup thatz just what tha fuck I holla'd at you a second ago," Vui explained

"Never mind dat we must git ta tha top of Mt Freeze" Abbie holla'd

"Dope point Abbie"

"I holla'd at you I be a funky-ass boy!"

"Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin mah ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass..." Skitty sighed

"But dat thugged-out biiiatch calls you Skitty..."

"But she once tried ta nickname me Pinky yo, but dat shiznit was one of mah thugsz scam n' Vui say dat dunkadelic hoe tha 'nicknamer' of tha crew, so her big-ass booty holla'd she'd call me Pinky until dat dunkadelic hoe thought of suttin' else. Luckily her dope ass didn't start callin me Pinky." Skitty explained.

"I can call you Pinky if you want." Suggested Vui.

"NO! Don't son! I holla'd don't want ANY nickname."

"Ok, ok. I won't call you Pinky yo, but I be bout ta be thinkin of suttin' betta fo' you, biatch."

"Uh, muthafuckas, maybe we should just make our way ta tha top of Mt. Freeze." Suggested Abbie.

"Dope idea." Agreed Skitty.

Afta cappin' over 9000 Glalies they juiced it up ta tha top of Mt Freeze.

"I be soopa-doopa horny n' itz cold here up in Mt. Freeze. I'd smoke anythang up in dis biatch, even rotten cheese!" Sang Vui.

"Um Vui we all up in tha top of Mt freeze" Skitty pointed out.

"Indeed yo ass is, now prepare ta lose!" Alakazam shouted as they entered.

"Uh oh, here comes a gangbangin' fight,"

"No fighting!" Just then Ninetalez jumped down "There shall be no fightin on mah mountain!"

"Oh wow itz Ninetales" Abbie holla'd

"Miss Ninetalez we was bout ta bust a cap up in dat one from yo' legend" Alakazam replied

"If yo ass is referrin ta dis Eevee then yo ass is wrong, tha one from mah legend aint here."

"Oh phat lets bounce back ta tha doggy den!" Skitty sighed/

"Woohoo! Im not gonna die" Vui hollared n' tha ground started bobbin wit a earthquake. "Nooooo we gonna die!"

"Vui stop panicking!"

"That earthquake is caused by Groudon,"

"Don't worry we shall stop it" holla'd Alakazam

"Go home, you muthafuckas muthafucka! It aint nuthin but too dangerous!" Exclaimed Charizard.

"Let our asses handle dat shit. Go home." Agreed Tyranitar.

So tha trio went back ta tha base.

"Well, here we are. Now what?" Axed Vui.

"Abbie, you find a gangbangin' playa area. Us two can git all up in pokemon square. We can tell mah playas tha real deal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Vui aint tha human from tha Ninetalez Legend!"

"Shut tha fuck up. I be bout ta find a gangbangin' playa area. Peace out."

"Letz go."

They went ta Pokemon square.

"There they are!"

"Letz git em!"

"Bust a cap up in them!"

"Stop!" Exclaimed Vui.

"Yo ass have no reason ta bust a cap up in our asses no mo'." Skitty holla'd at dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

"But we gotta bust a cap up in tha human from tha Ninetalez Legend!" Exclaimed one of mah thugs up in tha crowd.

"We travelled ta Mt. Freeze n' found Ninetales. Ninetalez holla'd at our asses her muthafuckin ass dat Vui aint tha human from tha legend!"

Gengar came up.

"Kekeke biaaatch! How tha fuck do we know you not lying?"

Just then, a Pelliper flew past n' dropped a newspaper n' shit. Lombre read dat shit.

"Da identitizzle of tha human from tha Ninetalez Legend has not been confirmed yo, but it has been confirmed by Ninetalez her muthafuckin ass n' witnessed by Alakazam dat Vui of a local rescue crew, Crew Awesome, aint tha human."

"Well, it be lookin like we we wack bout you," Lombre holla'd.

"So you a human yo, but not tha one from tha Ninetalez legend, biatch? Thatz confusing…" Snubble muttered.

"I knew you weren't shitty muthafuckas!" Caterpie exclaimed.

"Wait!" Gengar yelled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "If these muthafuckas is spittin some lyrics ta tha real deal, then wherez Alakazam?"

"Dude holla'd he n' his cold-ass crew was goin ta Magma Cavern," Vui holla'd.

"Why would he go there?" Gengar asked.

"Dude holla'd suttin' bout Groudon n' Earthquakes. I guess he'll fix dat shit." Skitty holla'd.

"So now what?" Vui asked.

"Well I don't give a fuck bout you yo, but I be goin home ta bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It aint nuthin but been ages since I've slept up in a funky-ass bed." Skitty holla'd.

So Skitty n' Vui went back home. Even though they had just gotten home, dat night felt like a aiiight night. Mostly cuz Vui was already snorin loudly n' before long Skitty stuffed her up in tha mailbox like always.

 **A/N: Well, that's it for this story. Let me know if you want me to put anything else in the Ebonics translator.** **I hope you enjoyed this story and if you did feel free to review, and maybe PM me if you have any ideas for anything you'd like me to write about.**

 **Bye bye!**


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